Wrong end of the stick
by yellow 14
Summary: Set in Sokai's story 'The Royal Guardian' A look at Caleb's perspective in chapter 49/50


Disclaimer: No I don't own. Got that? Good.

AN: This is a response from Sokai to produce a piece that covered a different aspect of her fic 'The Royal Guardian'. Although not an author of the same calibre, I accepted. This is set during chapter 49, from Caleb's perspective. I strongly recommend that you read Sokai's story The Royal Guardian first.

When Ms Wojick started talking about an extra-credit poetry assignment that had been set in motion almost a month ago, I decided to sit up and pay attention.

Normally I'm pretty good at English. My grades are generally found at the top of the class and only Will Vandom gets better grades than me in this class.

Which does lead to the question as to why I'm sitting up and paying attention to an extra credit project. An extra credit assignment I didn't even do, I might add. Well, it boils down to this. My grades are slipping. (In English of course. I don't think that my science or math grades could slip much further. Earth is confusing enough as it is, WITHOUT making things MORE complicated.)

Anyway, Will's been helping me out, being a tutor to me. Trouble is, I'm not sure she CAN help me. My work hasn't really been up to my usual standards because I FEEL like something's not right in my life. It's not Meridian related (God I think I would practically WELCOME Phobos or Nerissa or any of the various other villains who INSIST on being a general pain in the A$$.)

Cornelia's been trying to be supportive, but she ends up taking it out on the others. (Especially Will, with the whole princess thing going on.) And much as I love Cornelia, I haven't been feeling quiet right about her either. (Which is STUPID! We met in our DREAMS on DIFFERENT worlds. We're practically MADE for one another.) Even our most intimate moments feel slightly off. It's like… like we're mirror images of one another, never quiet able to fit.

To make the situation worse, I actually managed to get Cornelia to sleep with me. You'd think that might help us become more comfortable with one another. Closer and more in touch with one another. (I'm pretty sure that a large part of the male student body has fantasised about Cornelia in that way. Candracar knows, I have.) But despite that, I feel wrong.

Urgh! And you can see WHY my grades in English are slipping. I'm trying to be descriptive about my feelings and all I can come out with is 'wrong'? If we had to fight Phobos like this, he'd still be in power. Probably ruling the universe as well actually.

Anyway, now that my little rant is over, I suppose I should continue with the story. (Sorry, I have a tendency to go off on a tangent at times.) Ms Wojick is having one of her 'Moment of pride' moments that she has when she encounters an exceptional assignment and so it's worth listening to anyway.

The poem is called 'If Only'. Will's reaction was arguably the sharpest reaction to the title. Her head shot off the desk and her eyes widened slightly, perhaps in alarm. (I'm reminded of when I sat up like that in bed after a particularly interesting dream with the previously mentioned redhead. Which was ONLY a dream, seeing as I like Will as a FRIEND only. Besides, I've had dreams involving all of the girls. Admittedly, I've never had such an erotic dream about the others, but it's JUST A DREAM! Right?)

As Ms Wojick starts to read the poem out, I see the subtle signs in Will's face that show she really doesn't want this read out.

If only you could know

_The things I long to say_

_If only I could tell you_

_What I wish I could convey_

I don't need to see Will's face to know it's definitely her. Having her help me has given me a really good understanding of her style. And this might as well have her name signed in glowing neon lights as far as I'm concerned.

It's in my every glance

_My Heart's an open book_

_You'd see it all at once_

_If only you would look_

At this point, I start a mental checklist of who it is that Will's talking about. It's obviously someone close to her and it's really hurting her not saying anything.

If only you could glimpse

_The feeling that I feel_

_If only you would notice_

_What I'm dying to reveal_

Oh she has it bad. Will is someone I really admire, someone a really care about, but lets be honest. When it comes to love, Will's hopeless. Now I'm pretty sure that Will is straight, so that leaves very few people who fit the bill. There was Martin, but I don't think he wants anyone BUT Irma. And she's known Martin for years. And he's not exactly Will's type. (But I could be wrong, I suppose.)

The dreams I can't declare

_The needs I can't deny_

_You'd understand them all_

_If only you would try_

I'm pretty sure that I don't fit the bill there. I know Will pretty well and I'm pretty good at reading her. I know that she's been trying to impress a boy recently, especially with the way she turned up at Eddie's Halloween party. And Cornelia WOULD know if she did and probably react badly, so obviously not me. Which is a good thing, seeing as I'm in love with Cornelia.

All my secrets you would learn them

_All my longings you'd return them_

_Then the silence would be broken_

_Not a word would need be spoken_

I suppose that Eli might fit the bill here. I bite my bottom lip as I try to suppress a shiver of horror at that thought. It's wrong on WAY to many levels. And Will doesn't seem to like him like that. Actually, I'm pretty sure that she hates him, so no, not him.

_If only it were true_

_If only for a while_

_If only you would notice_

_How I ache behind my smile_

The smile bit catches my attention. Will is pretty comfortable around her male friends, but there are only two or three boys who regularly see her smile. There's me, but Will sees me as a friend/older brother type figure. I know that Irma, Taranee and Hay Lin do (It's kind of like having four sisters and a girlfriend. No, scratch that. Five sisters and a girlfriend if you include Elyon.)

Then there's Matt. He's probably one of my best male friends on Earth. Admittedly, that's probably something to do with the fact that I don't get much chance at male company on Earth. (I think I spend too much time in the girls company.) but he's always been there for me. NO not THAT kind of way, you pervert! And now I'm arguing with my inanimate diary. I swear I spend too much time with Irma and Hay Lin. (Who talks to EVERYTHING.)

Now I think about it, Will and Matt are pretty tight. Those two are probably as close to one another as say, Cornelia is to Elyon. And there's definitely something between them, even a blind person can see it.

_I guess you never will_

_I guess it doesn't show._

It shows enough for Elyon to notice. And for your mom. Even ELI noticed and he barely knows you. (I'm embarrassed to admit that Elyon pointed it out to me how much chemistry there is between you. I personally thought that Elyon was trying her hand at matchmaking but now I see what she meant.)

_But if I never find a way_

_To tell you so_

_Oh, what I would give_

_If only you could know_

I walk out the class with my mind working out what to say. Most people would think I was in an angry mood, but to be honest, I look like that when I'm thinking hard. It stops people from interrupting me. When I finally decided what to say to Will, I spun myself around and decided to say it now. I was perhaps feeling a touch annoyed. (So sue me, I'm from an old-fashioned world.) I didn't like the fact that Will was hurting and I didn't like the fact that she would end up hurting Matt a second time. (I remember him raging about Will after their break up. I REALLY didn't want to face that again.)

When I got close enough, I cleared my throat and started to talk.

AN: I hope I've got Caleb right here. Or at least not so bad that you guys think it deserves to be flamed. I'm REALLY not a fan of writing in first person, but this story would not come out otherwise.


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